All The Wrong Reasons
by guardianrozahathaway
Summary: "You two are meant to be together." Dimitri broke into a run towards his one and only true love. Set two years after Spirit Bound. The Queen is not dead. Tasha is not evil.
1. Speak Now

**Hi Guys! I've decided to continue working on this story again (I know it's been a while). I've edited all of the chapters I've had up and I've added one new chapter! Hopefully some of you are still with me. If you like it, please review (: it means a lot!**

**EDIT AUGUST 29/11: Hi guys! I've been nominated for dream-with-your-feet's botw on tumblr and i was wondering if you would take the time to vote for mee:) you can vote at acepolls[dot]com/polls/1227529-who-should-be-dream-with-your-feets-blog-of-the-week/ but without the [dot] If you could take a few seconds to do this I would be very grateful:) If you review and let me know you voted I'll include your name in the dedication for chapter seven.  
**

**xoxo Catherine  
**

I wasn't invited to this wedding. I shouldn't have even been here. After all the misery that this man, Dimitri, had put me through in the past three years it should've been only fair that I didn't have to see him get married. But here I was, sitting with Lissa in the fifth row of pews – I would know after counting them and recounting them just so that I wouldn't have to look in _his_ face. That gorgeous face… That wasn't mine. Daring a glance upwards I felt his stony, brown eyes meet my own. I couldn't understand why he looked so… cold. This was his wedding. He should have been happy. If there was ever a time for him to use that rare yet warm smile it was now. I hadn't even been invited to the wedding, but Lissa had insisted that I come stating that 'She didn't want to come alone'. Christian would be giving a reading in the church since it was his aunt's wedding plus they were in some kind of relationship drama. How I wish that could be Dimitri and I. Life would have been so must easier if we were arguing over the color of our apartment rather than not even being on speaking terms. Sighing, I brushed aside one of my perfect brown ringlets that Lissa had styled earlier. This was all her fault, I thought, looking over at the picture of my best friend. Her emerald green eyes were already twinkling with tears and Tasha hadn't even came done the aisle yet, but I knew that Lissa was happy for Dimitri. Even so I couldn't stay mad at her. After Dimitri had turned back into a dhampir over two years ago, the two had formed a close friendship, much similar to that of mine and Christian's. Apparently I was the only one unworthy of his presence and conversations. Not that we really had a chance to spend time together. I was at Court guarding Lissa full time while he way away in New York being Tasha's own guardian, although I was positive that a lot more than 'guarding' was going on with those two. They were getting married after all.

Guardian mask still firmly in place, I placed my fidgety hands over my black satin dress as Lissa whispered over in my year, "You alright?" Smiling grimly, I nodded trying to reassure her that I was okay. Even if Dimitri and Lissa were friends, Lissa would always be my first priority just like I was hers. She knew just how much it hurt me to be here or to an extent. Nevertheless, I was her guardian and I would do anything for her. Besides I was happily dating Adrian… There was no reason for me to want Dimitri, to love him, but that didn't mean that I didn't. Suddenly a musical tune started afloat ringing throughout the entire church. To everyone it was a signal. One that was exciting and happy. To me it was almost like a death march. The ceremony was supposed to be small, but this tune was unfamiliar for which I was grateful for as I knew the moment the wedding march started to play I would have to go hide off in a corner or something… Seeing Dimitri vowing himself to Tasha was something I couldn't handle, especially when he promised to be mine and love _me _forever only two short years ago.

At the end of the hall the queen stood in all her glory. Shocked, I raised my eyebrows, wondering what she on earth was doing here at Tasha and Dimitri's wedding. Sure, Dimitri was a great guardian with his reputation built back up after a couple of years and Tasha was a royal moroi, if a not very appreciated one, but neither were good enough for Queen Bitch's presence. Or so I had thought.

The Queen took her place in the front of the church without any questioning from the guests and I slumped back into my seat. At least the queen wasn't here for me, I reminded myself. It was Dimitri and _Tasha_'s wedding, not mine and Dimitri's. Taking Lissa's hand, I clenched it, glad to have an anchor to hang onto. I knew that the Belikov's were all looking back at me from the other side of the church every few moments, probably feeling sympathetic for me. I, of course, wanted to shout at them to look somewhere else, anywhere but here and that I didn't need there sympathy; somehow I had a hard time convincing myself that they would believe that. These were the same Belikovs' who had seen me beat myself up and travel across the world to find Dimitri and I doubted they would believe that my love would ever fade. I just wished that the same could be said of Dimitri. Another song snapped me out of my thoughts, and immediately I knew who would be coming down the aisle this time. Tasha. That much was obvious and as I turned sullenly I repressed a gasp. She was stunning, I had to admit. Her black hair was done in a complex bun, showing all of her scars in glory. They didn't take away from the look, however, they just added to the fact of how brave and happy she looked. Her ivory dress flowed slightly down in a curtain of silk and her blue eyes were piercing with long, dark lashes surrounding them. I wanted to cry. Not because of how wonderful she looked, but because of the way Dimitri was looking at her. I wanted him to look at _me_ that way. Not that he ever would.

Turning back in my seat, I watched as she pranced down the aisle way too slowly for my liking. It was like they were trying to draw this out for me, make it as agonizing as possible as they destroyed what was left of my heart. Hadn't they ever heard of ripping the band aid off quickly? I couldn't stand it. A single tear began to fall from my frosty brown eyes, but I wiped it away hastily. Never again would I shed another tear for Dimitri Belikov. He wasn't worth it, I decided. Unfortunately, my heart thought otherwise. When Tasha finally reached Dimitri and faced each other while the preacher began to drone on, I sighed, closing my eyes. This was just another one of Stan's lectures, I told myself. I could easily ignore those. But this, I couldn't. Every single word and syllable that the preacher spoke happily made me want to murder him even more. I hated this man. He was so cruel, didn't he see that Tasha wasn't supposed to be with Dimitri? He was _mine. _

"Speak now or forever hold your peace," the preacher began and I froze, paralyzed. This was my time. I could change this. I could just speak. One last time… But the preacher had already begun to talk about something else: The vows. Jumping to my feet with my practiced guardian moves, I felt every dhampir's and moroi's eyes move to me, horrified. I didn't care. I only had eyes for Dimitri.

"I…" I stuttered, before looking at Tasha's stunned expression. "I'm sorry Tasha. I don't mean to ruin your wedding, but I have to. It's my last chance." Looking back at Dimitri I felt tears began to well in my eyes before I blinked them away. "I'm in love with you Dimitri. I always have been, and I don't want you to get married to Tasha. I know that you said that your love has faded," I recalled, wincing as I went but I never paused. "But I don't care, at all. Love doesn't fade, Dimitri! I would know. You turning back into a dhampir? That was all me, Dimitri while Lissa just placed the cherry on top. I travelled the world for you, I would die for you and I risked my life for you. I would do anything for you, and even though this is how we have turned out… I don't regret it. I don't regret _anything. _And I know that you do, Dimitri, but you still love me. You either do or you never did and… That's all I have to say," I exclaimed, instantly regretting the scene I'd made. Turning on my heel briskly I walked out of the church with my head held high in famous Rose Hathaway fashion. Ignoring the stares on my back as I placed my foot after foot, I almost wanted to snap at them some sarcastic remark, but I didn't have the energy to do so. Proclaiming your love one last time was enough to wear anyone out. Trust me, I know.

Once I was outside of the church, I ran harder than I ever had before. Every muscle in my body was groaning its protests and my lungs were killing me more than they ever had – more than when I was killing numerous strigoi at once - as horrid tears fell down on my pink cheeks uncontrollably. When I finally stopped I leaned over, tears still streaming down my face, taking my breath away. _So much for never crying over him again, _I thought humourlessly; I still chuckled. God, I was starting to go insane. No wonder Dimitri had tossed me aside, no one wanted to love a crazy person. Falling back onto a stone wall, the shadows enveloped me as one of their own. I sat behind a large white pillar which covered my entire body. No one would be able to find me unless they looked behind this particular pillar, and somehow I doubted that. No doubt it wouldn't be any longer than when the ceremony concluded than the rumors would start. _Hathaway still in love with her ex. Student-teacher crush? Hathaway loves through the strigoi stages… _I could hear the moroi's foul whispers now as I tipped my head back against the wall, my brown hair falling over my shoulders like a water fall. Now the curls were gone from my excessive running, but I didn't care. Caring wasn't something I did a lot of nowadays.

Lissa's head was a hurricane. For a few moments, I allowed myself to become a part of her world. This was better than my own problems, and even though I didn't want to be happy about ruining Tasha's wedding I couldn't help that tiny hint of gratification course through me. I smirked. Inside the church it was chaos. People were standing, shouting obscenities and looking at each other dazed. For such a small wedding I was impressed that so many people seemed to be chaotic. Lissa was in a panic too, but she felt guilty too that she had put me through that, as well as for ruining Dimitri's wedding. I wanted to laugh at her and tell her that it wasn't her fault – she was too selfless. If anyone was to blame for ruining the wedding it was me, which everyone was probably doing anyway.

Abruptly I felt Lissa's head snap in the direction towards where Tasha and Dimitri were standing, arguing. I knew that Lissa probably wouldn't eavesdrop, but I couldn't help but pray that she would sneak around and listen in. She probably wouldn't, I told myself. And I was right. There was no slyness growing in the bond whatsoever – merely curiosity. I hoped that would be enough.

"I gave you my word that I would marry you Tash-" Dimitri started in his calm, guardian voice.

"I don't give a damn what you said you would do, Dimitri! No matter if I love you, we don't have a connection like you and Rose have. And don't you dare say that you don't have a bond anymore because you do, Dimitri Mikhail Belikov! Now go find that girl and tell her you love her, because I can move on, but you can't and you won't Dimitri, and neither can she. _You two are meant to be together," _Tasha responded her voice furious and her sapphire eyes piercing.

He broke into a run.

I left Lissa and began to cry again. He didn't care enough to come after me in the first place. Only Tasha could make him do so, and that was because he loved her. Not me. He didn't love me. Shaking my head, I tried to stop the tears, but my eyes wouldn't listen and my body was still shaking endlessly from my sobs. Truthfully I didn't think my tears were ever going to end and I began to wonder if I would die of dehydration eventually. At the rate I was going, I figured that I'd be gone in the next hour. Curling up on my side, I grabbed onto the few living plants at this time of year. It was March and the wild life was only beginning to come back from the harsh winter. Personally, I thought it more fitting for it to be winter all year long. It would certainly fit my lifestyle better. As I lay there, it wasn't long before I heard light crunching footsteps come my way with a Russian accent shouting through the night sky "Rose!" Taking in a sharp breath, I grabbed out to grasp my ribs to keep my lungs intact. I wasn't going to answer him. He had his chance, and now I needed to go find Adrian. He would take care of me, he always had even if I didn't return his love and I felt myself internally kicking myself for being so greedy. I should've broken off our relationship long ago, but I needed him. Adrian was my life line and I decided to give myself another kick for being so weak. Put yourself together Rose, I told myself as I listened to Dimitri's footsteps fade away, but no matter how much I wanted to, I knew that I could never do just that without Dimitri. I was still missing the last puzzle piece.

**review review review:)**


	2. Progress

**Aw, poor Rose! Hopefully her and Dimitri will end up together ;) Review if you want me to continue!**

**xoxo Catherine**

To simply put it I was miserable – at best. All night I'd tossed and turned in my tear-stained sheets and despite how much I wanted to, sleep would not come. How could it? The love of my life had only come after me because his ex-_fiancé _had told him to. He had been ready to marry her, and when she had tossed him aside he had come after me. To Dimitri I was only second place. Whimpering, I jumped out of my bed. I was done crying, I thought, wiping away two of my stray tears. There was no way that I would let Dimitri do that to me any longer – I needed to move on. He had made it perfectly clear that he was ready to take me back, but I needed to reject him. Maybe someday I would be able to take him back, but even I knew that then it would be too late for me. Just like it was too late for Dimitri; after two years of loneliness (or being with Adrian) I couldn't forgive him. He had ripped my heart out, tortured it, had it shredded and finally stomped on it only to return to me with a band aid. _Band aids don't fix broken hearts, _I thought – It didn't matter if they were physical or emotional, neither would do. Flopping onto my bed I closed my brown eyes and I thought of all the good times Dimitri and I had. Memories flooded into my brain like a river that had been blocked with a dam which was suddenly gone. There was nothing stopping my memories anymore. Pictures appeared in my thoughts – good and bad – before disappearing only to be replaced with another. Stolen kisses. Making him laugh that glorious laugh. Him trying to keep his cool. Us sparring… The list went on and on as I sighed, wishing that nothing had happened to stop that. With us it had always been so easy, but that was three years ago. I knew Dimitri had claimed to me that his loved had faded, only to change his mind last night and say that it was still there… Or that was what I presumed, but the man was giving me whiplash and it was his time to hurt. I had gone through enough and I wasn't about to make myself vulnerable to the Russian God any time soon. Never again, I vowed to myself as I got out of bed and slipped into a black pair of short shorts and a bright red tank top. As I yanked a brush through my hair I thought about what I was going to tell Adrian, although he probably already knew and was waiting to assault my dreams when I finally found sleep.

Leaving my official guardian room – I had one at Christian and Lissa's place where I usually stayed, but truthfully I had needed to be alone last night – I headed towards the gym. The sun gleamed overhead, swelteringly hot. I knew that at this time the main gym would most likely be empty, but just to be sure I headed towards the old one that was rarely used by anyone. Inside there was a fair amount of equipment with a beat up punching bag, along with some broken up dummies and a few other pieces of old tools to practice with. I headed towards the dummies and pulled out my stake as I began to stake the dummies one by one, wrestling with the ribs. My technique was sloppy – I was crushing the ribs rather than manoeuvring around them – but each time I struck the dummy I felt an endorphin of happiness release. This was what I needed to get rid of Dimitri, yet each time I staked a dummy they began to remind me a lot more of the exact guy I wanted to forget. That one was tall. The next one had long brown hair, and finally the last had the entire package – even the chocolate brown eyes. The color was off of course, no one could duplicate those eyes that I fell in love with, but the reminder was there, nonetheless. Screaming out in exasperation, I flung my hands up into the air wondering why everyone was trying to put me in pain, even God was continuously reminding me of things I wanted to forget. A deep chuckle snapped me out my thoughts, and as I whirled around steadily I saw Dimitri. Wonderful.

"What do you want Belikov?" I said, glaring at him as if he was Satan himself – which to me he was.

"Rose –"he started, stepping forward while I stayed in the exact same position.

"I don't want to hear it. Sure, I ruined your wedding and I said a lot of fucked up shit, but I didn't mean it. None of it, okay? I don't love you anymore, maybe I never did. _Love fades_, remember Guardian Belikov? Well guess what? Mine fucking has." My brown eyes were ablaze with fury while Dimitri stood the same way he had before. Vulnerable. His silence caught me off guard and I felt myself getting more and more frustrated. Why couldn't he be angry? Why wouldn't he fight back? Even his guardian's mask was better than _this._

"Well say something!" I shouted at him, anger and cruelty lacing my words. "What are you scared that I have you figured out Dimitri? Ha," I laughed harshly. "Welcome to my world. Except I never used your feelings against you. Did I?"

Suddenly, he leapt forward aiming for my head with his fist. I hardly had time to duck before his hand was soaring overhead. That hit a nerve, I thought smirking. At least this was progress. Not exactly progress… More 'progress' in the fact that I was getting something out of him. If the dummies reminded me of Dimitri and saddened me, fighting Dimitri again was a completely different thing. He was better than I remembered, although I supposed that was to be expected. We hadn't fought each other since he was my mentor, three years ago. According to Dimitri's facial expression, however, he was shocked at how my fighting technique had changed as well. No longer did we know each other's fighting skills inside and out like we used to. Now, we had to always be on our guard, unsure of what the other was about to. Kicking high into the air, I managed to get a good kick to his shoulder before he took leverage of that and tried to twist me around. Too slow. I forced my foot down and shook him off, giving him an advantage and allowed him to punch me in my ribs. My momentary pain was enough time for him to pin me and – technically – kill me but as he laid on top of me, keeping his weight off of me, I was even more shocked by his next words.

"You have improved, Roza," he breathed, his face only inches from mine.

"Thanks," I panted in between breaths, all spiteful thoughts momentarily forgotten. "You have too." For a moment we only stared in each other's eyes, reading the other person's soul, and I thought about what I would have done at the age of seventeen. Surely, I would've pulled him close to me and kissed him with all of the passion I could muster until he finally built back his control. But I wasn't seventeen anymore and Dimitri had hurt me, perhaps in ways that could never be fixed. Still I didn't miss the lust that flashed in his eyes as he stayed on top of me, not bothering to move off of me, and I could imagine him leaning down and pressing his lips to mine and –

"Rose?" My thoughts were cut off by the sound of my best friend's voice, entering the gym with Christian following suit. Nodding at me, Dimitri got off of me and held out a hand to help me up. I didn't take it, instead, getting up by myself as I returned his nod.

"Hey Liss, Christian. Dimitri and I were just sparring," I told them, the words coming out of my mouth before I realized that must have been pretty obvious. I could tell that Lissa didn't by my explanation and later on I would be getting a long lecture. The foot that separated Dimitri and I seemed like we were miles apart and way too close for my liking. Had Lissa and Christian not interrupted us a few moments earlier I couldn't even process what might have happened. We might have kissed. We probably would have kissed. _What's wrong with you? _I screamed at myself mentally. How could I have almost lost control? It seemed like it was high school all over again, only this time I was the one fighting for control. Maybe I never gave Dimitri enough credit.

"Oh, well we can leave," she said, turning sharply, dragging Christian behind her.

"No, really, Liss," I called after her, almost frantic to have another human's presence in the gym besides Dimitri. I didn't want to know what would happen if I was left alone with him again. At the same time Dimitri spoke saying, "No princess, please stay." I had to fight the impulse to look over at him and smirk.

Looking back at me, her emerald green eyes flashed with curiosity but didn't say anything about it. "We were just looking for you. We couldn't find you in your room and you weren't in the Guardian quarters either."

"I couldn't sleep," I explained. No one asked me why. There was no need to; the answer rang loud and clear through the silence of the gymnasium. At that precise moment it seemed that my eyes decided to focus on exactly what Lissa and Christian looked like. Lissa had her hair ruffled, one of Christian's shirts slung over her messily and short pink pajama bottoms, while Christian didn't look much better, wearing only plaid boxers. Crossing my arms over my chest, I attempted to raise an eyebrow but failed. If it was any other circumstance I would've stated that Dimitri _had _to teach me how to do that.

"Is there something you'd like to tell me?" I asked in the famous Rose Hathaway fashion, making Lissa blush and Christian grin.

"Nope, I think our appearance pretty much covers what you disturbed," Christian stated, smirking. Through the bond I could feel Lissa's embarrassment grow especially with Dimitri in the room, but Christian didn't look bothered. Of course not - he even had the nerve to look smug.

"Disturbed?" I questioned. "I'm pretty sure that I wasn't the one banging at your door in these unheard of hours of the night." I grinned. "On second thought, thanks to Comrade here I'm pretty sure that I've been awake way too early for training before," I said warmly, speaking without really thinking. Once my words registered in the room, however, I could feel the tension grow. Why did I have to call him Comrade? Why did I have to even mention him? Guardians were used to being ignored; he wouldn't have minded, I concluded. But I had mentioned him, and now I was positive that he was going to think something was going on between us. Not that anything was. Dimitri and I were nothing. What we once had was gone. Somewhere in my subconscious decided to pick that particular moment to whisper, _You just keep telling yourself that. _I wanted to kick it and growl at it to shut up. Great, now I truly was going insane.

"Did we interrupt something ourselves?" Lissa demanded cautiously, her happiness growing in the bond for me. Lissa was such a good person, I thought suddenly. Of course she always had been, but the thought took me by surprise. When was the last time I had done something with her? Just us girls? Lehigh took up a lot of her schedule, but I was guarding here there too. Shaking my head, I decided that I would have to mention it to her tomorrow and go get our nails done or something at the spa here in court.

"No!" I half shouted, somewhat alarmed. I sounded defensive. I didn't want to be defensive. There was no fucking reason for me to _be _defensive. Nothing was going on.

"Well, okay. We'll just be going back to sleep now," Lissa said, heading towards the doors.

Shooting Christian a quick look, I mouthed 'Sleep. Yeah sure,' so that Lissa wouldn't see.

"Wait! Liss?" I asked, my voice gentle as she reached the doors. Looking over her shoulder, her tender green eyes surveyed me. "Why did you come looking for me, anyway?"

"I felt you through the bond," she said. "You were having some pretty strong emotions."

"Oh right." Nodding, I pondered her statement. I knew that her powers were getting greater, allowing her to sense me as I sensed her sometimes, but it still annoyed me and for once I understood what Lissa meant when she said that me going into her head was invasion of privacy, even if in the beginning I couldn't help it, and when I was sleeping, I still had no control.

Glancing back at Dimitri as they left, I wondered what Lissa meant by 'strong emotions'. Was it when I was staking the dummies? Or when I saw Dimitri or was arguing and sparring with him? Or… was she talking about when he had laid on top of me, his closeness overbearing in what I could not determine was either a good or a bad way. Nonetheless I had to go. Until then I hadn't realized just how tired I was, although I was still unsure whether or not sleep would come.

Walking away with my head bowed, I slipped halfway out the door and nodded to him as I said, "Good night Guardian Belikov," just as he murmured, "Good night my dearest Roza," almost too low for me to hear. I didn't stop smiling the entire way back to Lissa's.

"Hello Little Dhampir," I heard Adrian say as I fell into unconsciousness. His face was solemn, his green eyes looked tired and I mentally kicked myself knowing that I was the cause of all of this. It was true that I loved Adrian, but I wasn't _in _love with him as he was with me. My love for Adrian was like the love you might feel for your brother or best friend, but not your boyfriend. Oh the irony.

"Look Adrian I'm sorry," I blurted before he could say anything else. Tonight Adrian had brought me to his grandmother's garden at her estate, a place I knew he loved. At the moment we were surrounded by low green hedges speckled with roses and flowers with a small bench to the left, but we were both standing. In the dream, the wind was slight and the sun shone down on us comfortable as my white sundress flowed with the breeze. That was my first hint that this was going to be a bad encounter – probably our break up. No matter what, Adrian always dressed me in something seductive and him in something equally as sexy, but now he was wearing casual clothes – a blue polo shirt and khakis – while I was the picture of innocence as my dark waves fell softly down my back and shoulders.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, Rose. I knew it would happen eventually, even if I hoped it wouldn't," he said, frowning slightly while I winced.

"I didn't mean for it to happen, Adrian! I… I'm not even getting back with him, okay?" I began, taking a huge breath that I knew I would need for my next speech. "Adrian, me? I'm a selfish, slutty, ignorant, sarcastic, horrible person. I don't deserve you, Lissa, Dimitri, Christian, my mother, Abe… Anyone. I'm surprised that you have all dealt with me for this long. But you? Adrian you're one of the most self-sacrificing, amazing, kind, passionate people I know, and I don't deserve you Adrian. I kept you along for so long because I'm selfish and I'm so needy, and I wanted you to be there for me, even though I knew that I could never love you, and we have to end this Adrian. You need to find someone who deserves you and can love you back and…" I let my sentence end with silence, but I was pretty sure we both knew what I meant. No tears streamed down my face as they did with Dimitri. Rose Hathaway was done crying. However my face was filled with more anguish than I had shown in years. No longer would I ever cry over another boy again, I promised myself, although I was pretty sure I had said that more than once in the previous twenty four hours.

"Rose –" Adrian started, but the dream was already starting to fade away – I was waking up - and I knew that it was good thing. Our relationship had to end now before he could try and convince me to stay with him. As he became dimmer and dimmer and misty fog became to appear swirling around the garden I heard him murmur, "I still love you." It was for the best, I told myself.

But I woke up crying. Jesus.


	3. Tell me why

_"Rose –" Adrian started, but the dream was already starting to fade away – I was waking up - and I knew that it was good thing. Our relationship had to end now before he could try and convince me to stay with him. As he became dimmer and dimmer and misty fog became to appear swirling around the garden I heard him murmur, "I still love you." It was for the best, I told myself._

_But I woke up crying. Jesus._

I was trying to avoid their stares but it wasn't such an easy task. Everywhere I went moroi glanced up at me, murmuring to their friends, and I was beginning to wonder whether Dimitri was receiving the same treatment. So far today I hadn't seen Lissa as I'd been up early for a Guardian's meeting, talking about how we needed more security and brainstormed on how to get it. For the most part I had only zoned out; The Guardian council wasn't expecting me to comment. I may have been one kick ass guardian, but when it came to authority in decisions I held very little leverage. Thankfully Dimitri hadn't been there either as he was only visiting court to get married. Or he had been. Now I didn't really know what was going on in his life. Would he be staying? Or leaving again with Tasha? These were only some of the questions that haunted my brain on the subject of my former lover. I knew it would've been for the best if I didn't have any questions. Tough luck. Apparently I didn't have much say on what or who I thought about these days. No matter what, however, I was determined not to ask Dimitri what was going on; I had always hung onto his every word, but if he wanted me back, well he was going to have to earn it, I decided. And if he didn't want me enough to try… Then fine. I was so over him anyway. Walking into a small café, I smiled, glad that it was mostly empty spare Mia who was at the counter. This was her father's coffee shop, and I knew that she often looked after it when he was away. Once I arrived at the counter I smiled grimly at Mia while her baby blue eyes widened in shock. "Rose? God you look like shit," she said truthfully, but sympathy filled her words.

Laughing humourlessly, I almost thanked her as she passed me a donut and a bottle of water in exchange for a couple dollars. "I've had better days," I agreed. Shrugging I looked at her glowing face. "How's Eddie? I haven't spoken to him in a while."

Eddie and Mia were officially dating, although his guardian duties often were the reason for many arguments they still managed to work it out. Eddie, being the guardian of another royal had to move around a lot, but when he managed to come to Court with him or get a vacation the couple couldn't get enough of each other. Shaking her head, Mia waved me off. "Eddie's fine, but what is this about the rumors I've heard? It's only nine am in the morning and already the royals are gone crazy! Did you really crash Guardian Belikov and Lady Ozera's wedding? And were you together? God, Rose! Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Calm down Mia," I said seriously, contrasting against her frantic nature. Mia always had been a gossip queen, but nowadays she was much more laid back. Despite this she was still a girl and this was big news to her. Plus, we were pretty decent friends and for me not to have told her anything beforehand would either confirm or veto the rumors. I was the only real source she could count on. Sighing, I started over. "Yes, I ruined his wedding. We were together a long time ago… But we're not anymore," I promised. "We won't ever be, not anymore."

Immediately, Mia began to babble on, her words blurring together like a freight train in my head. At any other time I would've been amused and laughed at her talkative nature, but today I refrained myself as I knew that would probably only frustrate her. Nevertheless I had to bite my lip to stop from laughing. "You were? Rose why didn't you tell me?"

I merely stared at her, not bothered. "It's complicated," I stated. _Just like the rest of my life. _Shrugging my shoulders, I brought a hang through my long hair that was tied up into a ponytail. I was wearing it up, just as I'd promised Dimitri I would so many years ago. I hated that I was still under his charm, but I couldn't bring myself to cut it. For one, it wouldn't feel like me, and second of all it would be like losing another piece of Dimitri all over again. Sure, now he wanted me back, but he wanted me back for all the wrong reasons. Maybe if he had foreseen his mistake beforehand, but three years later… I wasn't so sure. It seemed like his wedding was what it had taken to make him realize what he had and what he was missing out on, and I wasn't so sure I liked that. I knew he loved me. Not once had I ever second guessed the thought, but now I was beginning to ponder this statement. Just as I'd said yesterday – It seemed like a billion years ago – love didn't fade. You either loved forever or you never had; maybe Dimitri never had loved me. Shaking my head, I pushed that thought aside as I smiled at Mia and said my goodbyes. Something in my face must've stopped her from demanding me to go further into details here and now but I knew that as soon as we were alone she would be requesting a full recap of the events. Leaving the small café, I stuck to the sides of the stone buildings where I wouldn't run into any gossiping moroi. I was familiar with these areas from the patrols I'd done over the years and internally I prayed that no guardian would be walking past this particular point at any time soon.

Of course, God didn't seem to like me much, and I cursed, if only to spite him. So much for going to Church all those Sundays at St. Vlad's. Sure, I had only gone to see Lissa, but couldn't the guy give me some pity? I _had _attended every Sunday and that had to count for something, right? Apparently not. _I bet God doesn't give Dimitri this much trouble, _I thought, thinking back to those same ceremonies where he stayed at the back, off in his own little world. Nowadays I wondered if that had changed since he had changed back into a dhampir. When he had been strigoi certainly he wouldn't have been able to step on holy grounds, and I wondered whether that had altered his beliefs now that he was himself again. Pressing up against a wall, I attempted to slow my breathing so that – hopefully – the guardian wouldn't be able to hear me. Any strigoi or moroi probably could've as I wasn't trying that hard to conceal just how fast my heart was beating in anticipation, but it wasn't like I was doing anything wrong – I had nothing to be ashamed of. Except ruining a royal's wedding. Yeah, that might've put me on the hit list of a few people. There were going to be people who loved and hated me for it. Nothing too unusual. It was uncommon for a Guardian and a Royal to get married and while many royals thought it was almost criminal to do so – although apparently there was nothing wrong with taking blood whore's as their mistresses – I was sure that not too many cared about what happened to Tasha Ozera either. The Ozera's blood line was poisoned, especially those who had been in direct relationships with Christian's parents, and Tasha's obvious love of offensive magic didn't help her reputation much either. Not that I disagreed. Personally, I thought that offensive magic was a great idea but not too many royals agreed. Of course not – they only cared about themselves, I thought.

The footsteps of the supposed Guardian grew nearer and I inhaled quietly, holding my breath as not to be heard. Now they were definitely close enough for them to hear me, and I was oddly reminded of my years at St. Vladimir's. Especially memories of when Dimitri had found me. It seemed that he had a radar when it came to me. I didn't know why and I didn't know how, but he had always been able to sense and see me when no one else had been able to, perhaps because he had been my mentor. Nonetheless, I still felt the adrenaline pumping swiftly through my veins and I felt elated with happiness. It had been so long since I'd done something reckless. Yeah, I still didn't try to conceal my opinion and I still had the same sarcastic sense of humor, but truthfully I wasn't the same seventeen year old girl I was back at St. Vladimir's. In general I had the same great personality, but being Lissa's guardian had changed me. No longer could I sneak out if I was guarding her – always I had to be on my guard. Luckily for me, however, we lived in court for the most part.

Thinking back to my mother, I realized that maybe once she had been like me. I was only two years into my Guardian's career after all, and already I was beginning to lose a little bit of my spunk. Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing, though. I was becoming more mature. More of an adult. _Dimitri would be proud of me_, I thought sadly. Maybe he was. I didn't know. I was so confused. I wanted him to tell me why. He thought I was bulletproof. He thought that after all of his emotional abuse and grief he had given me I would still be whole, but honestly I was broken. Someday I would be fixed, but I couldn't do it alone. I needed him. I needed Dimitri and I wanted him to tell me why. I needed to know why he had done this to me. Still holding my breath anxiously I watched with wide brown eyes as a dhampir rounded the corner – a dhampir I never would've expected to come. Olena Belikov. To say the least I was shocked. My breath came out in a loud whoosh as I stared at the person who stood before me. _Olena? How could she have found me?_ I slumped in defeat. I wasn't sure what to think of Olena right now. Surely she had spoken to Dimitri… Or maybe not. From her expression, however, she was just as surprised to see me as I was her.

"Rose?" she said, confused with one eyebrow raised. It must have been a genetic thing I decided.

"Hi Olena," I responded just as mesmerized as she was. I loved Olena like the mother I never had. It was true that my mother and I were much closer than we used to be, but still I missed out on a mother who would give me a band aid when I came home with a scraped knee and kiss it better. My mother had never been around for that, and I felt as if Olena was almost a one to me.

"What are you doing here?" she exclaimed, looking around us as if someone else could be eavesdropping on our unexpected meeting.

"Truthfully I was trying to avoid the moroi," I said, grinning. "And anyone else I could stay clear of."

Smiling back at me, I almost felt bad for ruining her son's wedding. Olena had probably liked Tasha. She was a good person, I admitted, and if I didn't hate her for stealing Dimitri I might have even liked her. I speculated over whether or not she resented me for it. Probably not, considering she was smiling at me and I knew that she had once said that she thought of me as a daughter and loved me. I wasn't so sure what she thought about my announcement however.

"So when are you heading back to Russia?" I asked, trying to shift the attention off of myself and my obvious reason for why I was avoiding anyone with two eyes and a mouth.

"Not for a little while, actually," she answered, her warm brown eyes twinkling. "Since we were in America we decided to stay for a little while. We don't get to see Dimitri very often you know, and we haven't seen you since you were in Russia!" she exclaimed, murmuring something in Russian afterwards.

"Yeah." I sighed and tried to hide my guilt. Maybe they weren't my blood family, but I still felt as if I should've probably tried to visit more often. The Belikovs' were the closest family I had, and once I had imagined becoming a part of their family. When in Russia I had been considered Dimitri's wife, already their sister, but now that he was back I pondered whether all of that had changed. Maybe the bond I had formed with them was strong enough for them to still consider me family, but maybe when Dimitri changed back into a dhampir that all changed? I wasn't too sure, in any case.

"Anyway Rose, I have to get going, but if you want feel free to step by on Sunday for supper, to catch up," Olena invited.

"Okay, yeah. That would be great!" I accepted, laughing a little. "I should probably be going too; Lissa's waiting for me."

Back at Lissa's, I unlocked the door, creeping in quietly seeing just about every color of nail polish known to man lined up on her hardwood floor.

"Uh, Liss?" I called out, looking in the nearest room for some sign of her perfect blonde hair. No answer. Travelling further down the hall, I looked in each of the rooms warily, wondering where on earth she could be. Her apartment looked unscathed, and along the halls were more random beauty utensils telling me that she had been here recently. The problem was now she was nowhere to be. As I reached my own room and found it to be locked, I slammed against it, making the house vibrate and pushing it open to find Lissa jumping up and squeaking.

It was at times like this that I wished I could raise one eyebrow.

When Lissa looked at me, she smiled timidly as I stepped in to see that my quarters had been transformed into a spa. Literally. Everywhere I looked there was a different station. Massages, nails, beauty, hair… Everything a girl could want, and by the walls there was even two moroi from the royal spa. Clearly we could've gone to that spa, but for Lissa to have put in so much effort for just the two of us… I wanted to cry in happiness.

Instead I yelled at her, laughing. "Liss! What did you do to my room?" I asked playfully, coming forward and embracing her taller body into a hug.

"You've been so stressed out lately… I just thought this would be nice. Just me and you for once. No Christian, or Adrian, or any other moroi or Dimitri. Me and you."

"Thank you, Liss! You don't understand how much this means to me," I said, letting myself be pampered for the next four hours of my life. During this time, I laughed more than I had in ages and I felt my cheeks beginning to hurt for smiling for so long. It had been so long since I'd fully let myself have some fun with Lissa, and while I knew the tenderness of my hands nor the perfect pedicure would last with my training I was glad to have it done anyway.

After the two spa attendants had left, Lissa and I sat side by side on the edge of my bed, waiting for our manicures to dry.

"Remember that time we went to that karaoke bar?" I asked, recalling the time Lissa, Adrian, Christian, Mia, Eddie and I had gone to a bar where we had ended up drunk. And when I say drunk, I mean really drunk. I don't think I'd ever been so pissed in my life, and I'd even ended up singing 'Teenage Dream' by Katy Perry with Adrian, grinding up his body in quite a sleazy fashion that he'd enjoyed. That had been shortly after Dimitri had left with Tasha, but it had still been one of my most amusing memories.

Nodding, Lissa giggled, remember her own drunken actions that night. "Yeah and that other time you and I…"

The stories continued to be told and I was in a state of bliss. Nothing could bring me down now. Eventually, our story-telling began to drift towards our romantic lives, beginning with the fact that Lissa and Christian were thinking about marriage.

"Not right away," she was saying. "But you know, once I finally get a spot on council and we finish Lehigh… I don't know. It just feels right, you know?"

And I did. Or I had that one night Dimitri and I had slept together, when we finally thought that we had everything figured out. That night, we hadn't spoken of marriage, but we had both known that what we shared was deeper than even that. Dimitri and I had always had a special bond, one that I held close to my heart and I smiled recalling how wonderful that night had been.

"Yeah," I promised her. "I do."

"Oh Rose!" she apologized. "You know I didn't mean to…"

"I know," I said, wiping the tiny frown that I hadn't known had been there away with a smile. "I'm fine, trust me."

"So what about you and Dimitri? … Any chance of you getting back together?"

Sighing, I blew a strand of dark hair across my forehead. "I don't know, Liss. I love him and I think he loves me too. But is that enough? I mean, even if we could get past how much he hurt me, what future would we have? We'd never be accepted… We could never have children and probably never get married. Maybe it was meant to be, Lissa. I mean it was great while it lasted, but… Maybe fate only meant for us to have a touch of happily ever after."

Looking at me sadly, tears welled in Lissa's jade green eyes. "I didn't know you felt that way, Rose. I mean… No. If you want to be with him then you will be Rose, I'll make sure of it," she said, her voice edging on the line of dangerous. It reminded me of when she used compulsion to win over the royals. Taking the darkness from her, I shook my head only to see only despair etched in green eyes. "You can't use compulsion and you know it Liss."

"Maybe not," she said wistfully. "But when I become Queen I'll make sure that every relationship is welcomed into society. I'll make sure that the Guardians and the Moroi are happy and safe," she finished, authority and determination ringing in her voice.

Gazing up at her in admiration I murmured, "I know you will Liss."

**I'm going to start doing my author's notes at the end of the chapters. What did you guys think of this one? Some girl bonding time, yay! And what's this? Is Rose going to the Belikov's house for supper? Yes she is! Hm, I wonder what's going to happen there...**

**xoxo Catherine**


	4. Its a Worry Filled World

When I arrived at the Belikov's quarters on Sunday night I was surprised that the Queen had given them such a large block. Usually the Queen reserved the largest and most prestigious quarters for the Royal moroi although with such a big family of dhampirs I supposed that she was obligated to do so. It wasn't as if she could fit a family of ten into one single room without any facilities such as a kitchen and bathroom. Waiting anxiously, I brushed my dark straitened hair behind my ear and fixed my side bang quickly. Lissa had insisted that I wear a skirt, but sadly for her I had refused. I knew the Belikov's wouldn't be impressed nor expecting me to dress up, still though, I did wear the white blouse she had insisted on and a cute pair of diamond earrings (fake, I hoped). Without a long wait I heard footsteps pounding inside the two story apartment in which they were staying before Paul opened the door. This time, however, he wasn't as small as I remembered. At the wedding I couldn't recall seeing him, but even if I had I knew that I wouldn't have recognized him because little Paul was no longer so little. The last time I had seen him he had probably only been of nine of ten years of age, now however he was taller than me, taking Dimitri's height which made him look even more similar to the man I had fallen in love with.

"Hi Paul," I greeted friendlily, "Can I come in?"

Nodding, Paul smiled and pulled me into a hug which I returned affectionately. As I broke away from him I was swarmed by the others of the Belikov clan and I was happy to see that apparently they didn't hate me. First came Viktoria, stumbling into my arms and I wondered if I was forgiven for saving her butt two years ago. The first words out of her mouth definitely confirmed what I hoped, thankfully. "I'm sorry Rose," she cried. "I never should have doubted you. After you left I found Rolan…" she shivered. "Doing some stuff I'm so glad didn't happen to me."

Pulling her strong dhampir body away from mine I smiled at her and looked down into her eyes warmly in an almost motherly fashion. "Don't worry about it. You know I only did it because I wanted the best for you."

Next into my arms was Olena folding me into another warm hug which I returned and behind her was Sonya with her own baby – although perhaps baby wouldn't be the best word, considering she was a toddler now – as well as Karolina's girl Zoya who was holding onto her mother's pinkie strongly. Smiling at them, I watched as Zoya reached up to ask Karolina who I was. About to respond, I stood shocked as my eyes met another set of eyes. Another set of brown eyes that matched the rest of the Belikovs'. This pair of eyes however was higher than the rest of them. Because they were Dimitri's eyes. Dimitri. The name resounded in my head and a rush of memories that went hand in hand with his name came tumbling into my mind. I didn't know whether I wanted to scream at him or Olena or cry. I couldn't be sure, but from looking in his eyes I could tell that this was a surprise for him too. Immediately, my eyes wandered to Yeva, standing there with a mischievous smile on her face, along with a look of frustration. No doubt she would claim that I was being an idiot for not taking her grandson back, and I wondered if she had known he would come back; if she had known that all of this would happen. Shrugging my shoulders, I glanced at her feebly before Zoya walked over to me timidly and pulled on my hand to bring me down to her height. Looking into her beautiful brown eyes, I grasped just how beautiful she really was and I realized that someday I might have wanted children. Never mind that, though. I wouldn't be able to leave my Guardian career or Lissa, and certainly I wouldn't allow them to be raised by the Academy like I had. This made me think of my mother. Now, I understood her choice, her loyalty to her charge and I had to admire that. Compared to any moroi, besides Lissa, I doubted that I would choose them over my children. Furthermore, that didn't mean that I never resented my mother for doing so. Even if I understood it, in no way did that mean I had to like or even accept it. Besides there was still the tiny detail that I wasn't talking to the only person's child I would ever like to have and the fact that it was impossible for two dhampirs to have a baby - another reason why it was better if Dimitri and I had to stay apart. Maybe we truly weren't meant to be. Only a fling like I had thought. At least if I kept this thought in mind I might be able to believe there was no sense fighting for us anyway. I could always be the Aunt to Lissa's children anyway, I thought optimistically.

Now as Zoya stood before me I wondered how my mother ever had left me in the first place. Possibly I hadn't been as cute, I thought grimly. Zoya's perfect dark ringlets fell down her back royally and I knew that she as well as Sonya's baby held the attention of everyone in the room. Until now I hadn't even noticed that Sonya's toddler had wandered off to Dimitri as well, him kneeling down to her much like I was to Zoya. Her tiny, tanned hand reached forward and tucked my straitened hair behind my ear carefully much calmer than I thought anyone of her age would ever be capable of. Then resting her red as blood lips to my ear she whispered in a soft and soprano voice if I was in love with Dimitri. Pulling her away from me, I nodded at her, my eyes twinkling, wondering if someone had set her up to it, however I couldn't say that the thought worried me too much. I couldn't lie to a two year old. It would only be a sure-fire way to get me sent to hell if I wasn't already promised a position there. Maybe it had been curiosity or an actual plan to get Dimitri and I back together but it didn't matter. No matter how much I loved him and no matter how many peopled tried to get us back together, we wouldn't be together for a long time. Perhaps never. Of course I wanted him back, but I had Lissa to think of… and my heart. Yeah, that was important too.

As we all gathered into their tiny living room I sat on a couch with Viktoria next to me as well as Paul. Dimitri was resting across from me with Karolina and her daughter, along with Yeva and Olena, Sonya and her baby (whose name I had learned was Calina) sat on another couch. As I appraised the group I wondered what it would have been like to grow up with a large family. The Dragomir's were the closest I'd ever had to this type of family, but everything with them was still royal in one manner or another. This household held only love.

"Rose I didn't know you knew my family," Dimitri stated stiffly, his guardian's mask covering all of his perfect features.

"Yes. When I went to Russia to look for you _alone_, I met them and they took me in. It was quite a coincidence actually."

Nodding, he coughed. "Of course."

The atmosphere for the rest of the Belikov's must have been unbearable, I noticed, knowing that all eyes were on us, wondering what our next action would be. No doubt they hoped that at any moment one of us would fall into the other's arms, instantly forgiving. That wasn't going to happen. Perhaps I couldn't breathe without Dimitri, but that didn't matter – I had too and I would. Hell, I'd been doing so for the past two years and if I could go that long then surely I would be able to rest until he went to wherever he was going? Unfortunately, suddenly it seemed so much harder to do so. Maybe breathing without him really was level one breathing him in without truly having him perhaps was a much harder task.

"Where are you headed next?" Viktoria asked her older brother, sensing the uncomfortable atmosphere in the room.

"I'm not quite sure yet… At first I considered to continue guarding Tasha," he said as a flash of jealously shot through me. "In the end, however, I asked to be reassigned and my new charge will be Adrian Ivashkov," he finished and the world went still. Or at least mine did. If Dimitri was guarding Adrian… Well, one thing was for sure I was going to be seeing Dimitri a hell of a lot more. I didn't know whether or not Adrian liked this idea, but I knew that they'd at least have one thing to bond on: What a horrible girlfriend I was. Of course, they both probably would never say it outright, but I knew more than anyone else in the world that I'd never deserved either of the two men.

The next few minutes flowed into idle chatter about what else was going on in the lives of the Belikov family but all that I could think of was that Dimitri was guarding Adrian. Was it a trick of luck? Of course not. The queen would only have the absolute best guarding her favourite nephew and I knew for certain that everyone knew who that was. Dimitri.

"Rose? Rose?" Viktoria asked trying to get my attention.

"Sorry, what?" I asked, shaking my head and snapping out of my haze.

"Were you in Lissa's head?"

"Yeah," I nodded, lying. I could feel Dimitri's brown eyes boring into my back, knowing that he knew the truth. That man knew me inside and out; not only did he know when I was lying, but he had seen me in Lissa's head enough times to know when I was in her head and when I wasn't.

"We were just going to move to the supper table," she said, smiling almost sympathetically. In those brown eyes, however, I could sense that more than anything she wished I would get back with her brother as well, and I knew that the Belikov's would always thinking of me as Dimitri's, no matter what.

"Oh, okay," I nodded, getting up and following her into the kitchen. Inside there was only a tiny table with all of the chairs claimed. Except for two. Instantly, I darted as calmly as I could towards the seat near Karoline. Unfortunately, Viktoria was closer and the only chair left was in between Dimitri and Paul. Figures.

Trying to look like I was at least moderately happy (I couldn't act like I hated their son under their roof, now could I?) I walked over towards the chair and plopped down into it, feeling Dimitri's discomfort. Sighing, I glanced up to Olena. "Let's all go get food then," she announced, rising from the table with everyone else following suit where a buffet of food was laying.

After everyone got their food, Yeva quickly said a prayer in Russian, looking pointedly between Dimitri and me. The supper was filled with idle chat, sometimes me filling them in on what I've been doing besides interrupting their son's wedding (even though they didn't say so, it wasn't really needed). I was too busy, however, trying to ignore the tension between Dimitri and me to do too much talking. Key word: Trying. It was like there was an immense amount of air that was sucking us in and if we moved at all the entire world would collapse. It was irrationally frustrating. In between clenched teeth, I somehow managed to eat my food. Too soon, that was gone to distract me and I was all too aware of my former lover's presence. His spicy aftershave. His barely there stubble. Long, silky, dark hair twisted into a pony tail – I knew it was silky after all of those times I'd run my fingers through it. Now as he sat next to me, it was like we were back in high school, but both of us fighting for control this time. Dimitri knew fairly well that I wouldn't be taking him back any time soon, and I knew that I couldn't. While the situation was different, if we were a movie I doubted anyone would be able to tell the difference from then and now.

Digging my sharp nails into the flesh on my knee, I attempted to use that as another distraction. It had to work. It had to. I couldn't stand this anymore and I wanted – no, needed – to do one of two things. First, I could bring him in my arms and kiss him senseless or two I could get out of there now. Since, the neither first nor second option was really available I did the only thing I could. I slipped into Lissa's head.

Likewise, Lissa's mind was also running with anxieties. The queen and the rest of the council were circled around in a board meeting without even any guardians in the room. That was when I knew it was serious. Immediately, I wanted to run to her and tell her everything was okay. Hell, if I knew what they were talking about I would've already put an end to this, but Lissa wasn't me and she officially didn't get a say in the decisions until she produced an heir. In fact, the only reason she was permitted inside was because she was the Princess of her line, and it was one of the stupid traditions the royal moroi insisted on continuing.

Although, it wasn't until I really started paying attention that I knew this time the royals were breaking a tradition. They were planning on making novices graduate at sixteen. Snapping out of Lissa's head, I looked up into Dimitri's eyes with more fear than I knew I possessed. Not for me, however. No I was fearful for all of the unprepared novices whose lives would be gone as soon as they stepped into the outside world. Fucking hell. Were all royal moroi this stupid?

**Hmmm.. Interesting drama between Dimitri & Rose! Do you agree with his family? And aren't the kids the cutest?**

**xoxo Catherine**


	5. Take Care Of You

_They were planning on making novices graduate at sixteen. Snapping out of Lissa's head, I looked up into Dimitri's eyes with more fear than I knew I possessed. Not for me, however. No I was fearful for all of the unprepared novices whose lives would be gone as soon as they stepped into the outside world. Fucking hell. Were all royal moroi this stupid?_

As I glanced up nervously towards into the anxious face of Dimitri, I couldn't see anything. No, my chestnut brown eyes may have been cast in his direction, but I was not drinking in any of his handsome features. I didn't have time for that. Jumping to my feet, my head began to snap in both directions, as I pondered what exactly my next move would be. I definitely looked like some sort of cartoon character, but I could no longer care. Lissa needed me. Hell, all of the fucking novices needed me! What were they supposed to do? When were they instigating this new law? I didn't know. I didn't know anything. What I wanted to know was why Lissa hadn't told me about this meeting. Sure, I usually insisted on not knowing anything about royal politics, but usually if it was an event concerning a huge decision – even if she hadn't known what it was about – she usually told me, came to me for advice. Now, I flung myself towards the door and darted out into the cool March air. My feet crunched in the snow loudly leaving a clear trail of foot prints. If anyone was planning on following me it would have been an easy task but I wasn't too concerned with that right now. The only thing I could chant was that Lissa needed me. The dhampirs needed me, and I was going to come to their aid even if I didn't really know how I was going to do so. All I knew was that I needed to change the law. Maybe a mere Guardian like me couldn't do that much, but if I gathered a large population of moroi and dhampirs, perhaps it would make them stop and consider it. They wouldn't change their mind, I knew that. Once the royal moroi put their mind to something they always sought to make sure it went through, but if they would only pause and contemplate what they were doing once more it might give me an advantage to figure out another plan. One that involved another Dragomir. Unfortunately, we all knew it took nine months for a baby to be born, and I was positive that Lissa wasn't pregnant.

As I reached the building in where the meeting was being held, I marched inside with my head held high. Trampling over the security, two guardians stepped forward to try and stop me from barging on the council.

"Excuse me?" I asked sharply, my voice tingling with ice ready to be flung forward into them at any time. "I bet you don't even know what's going on in there!" I exclaimed, gesturing towards the hall where further down was the largest board meeting.

"Guardian Hathaway we know and trust you but-"

I cut them off. "But what? You don't know what's going on in there! No one does! Except for the selfish few who dare to think up this plan themselves," I said, my thoughts wandering in the direction of Queen Bitch herself and one of Adrian's uncles, Rufus. No doubt they wouldn't have a problem sending the teenage dhampirs out to slaughter; they were happy as long as they could go and visit the five star resorts in every country at least once a year. Did I mention that I hated most royals? Of course there was the exception of Lissa, Christian, Adrian… And even Tasha, as much as I hated to admit it. Maybe I was grateful for Tasha's words at the wedding, but that didn't mean that sometimes I didn't feel some hate towards the woman who had stolen Dimitri from me for the past two years. Yeah, maybe she hadn't taken him and locked him away, but just the thought of him choosing her over me… I shuddered. I wanted Dimitri to always have chosen me, not Tasha. Hell, I wanted him to have chosen me over everyone. Which was another reason why we couldn't be together: Our Charges. Now, as I thought of Dimitri saving me instead of defending Adrian I wanted to slap myself. Adrian was one of my best friends; he was my former boyfriend, hell, and I had just wished a strigoi on him if that meant Dimitri devoting his love for me.

The guardians who stood before me looked shocked that I was having an outburst – although it wasn't a spirit one. No, nevertheless, they didn't seem to see the difference and I noticed one female pull out a walkie talkie to page more guardians for back up. Wanting to scream at them, I almost did, except for the fact that it wouldn't help my situation much. One of the male guardians leaned forward to lock my wrist in a hold and I kicked forwards. What did he think he was doing? No one touched me without permission. No one. Through clenched teeth, I watched uncaringly as he fell backwards and more guardians swarmed over to me in an effort to control me. One by one, I kicked, punched, shoved, and did everything in my power to make them see what exactly was at cost – probably the rest of the dhampir's race. Maybe it was true that we needed moroi to ensure the continuation of our race, but that didn't mean sending out young teenagers to the battlefield would help our cause. In fact, if someone was to ask about this, I could easily explain that by the next generation the rest of the dhampir population would be wiped out if they passed this law. They couldn't pass this law. With an unexperienced novice fighting alongside another guardian it would only make our jobs so much harder. Now, we would both have to protect the charge and help out the younger ones. It would be like field experience in the real world, but this time if you failed – you died. There was no second try or another chance to go back and train some more. After one fight the strigoi would have their neck twisted in gruesome ways, impossible to reverse. With the exception of spirit, of course, but I really doubted that the few spirit users that existed would enjoy reviving all of the dead novices and after one of them had healed once they would unable to do it again – We all saw what happened to Avery Lazar and in no circumstances would I allow the same thing to happen to my sweet best friend Lissa.

Eventually, I grew tired. I may have been one of the most badass guardians in the moroi world, but that didn't mean that even I had the endurance to keep going for hours. Maybe if I was infused with spirit I could, but truthfully I didn't want the darkness that took control of me every so often. I was beginning to lose my motivation. Snapping back into my head with a sudden adrenaline burst, I realized that slowly I was almost giving in – and that was one thing Rose Hathaway didn't do. Kicking high into one of the tall Guadian's faces, I quickly gazed around the three guardians circling me like I was a wild animal. They didn't want to hurt me – although I had already hurt a bunch of theirs – but they still wanted to stop me. I was trusted in society, but no one really knew what would happen when I got loose. I was unpredictable. And I loved every minute of it.

Taking down the three other guardians enough to make them stop fighting me, I gazed around the waiting room, confused. Around me were chairs where moroi and guardians alike often waited for appointments, except now instead of people waiting in the comfy blue chairs, guardians lay on the floor, crumpled and unconscious. Probably seven of them. My chocolate brown eyes grew wide. Under any circumstances, I had never done so much destruction to one of my own. That was before I knew what was going on in the board room. As the sudden confusion washed over me like a tidal wave, I attempted to brush it to the back of my mind. I needed to get to that meeting. Rushing down the long hallway, I stepped over the Guardians bodies wincing slightly as I did, and reached the two large wooden doors. There, I took one big breath and twisted the doorknob. Locked, it figures, I thought before bringing my foot up into a kicking motion and – I was yanked away.

Struggling in the person's strong grasp I tried to escape, but whoever this guardian was – well, he was smart. Their arms had a good hold on my own, keeping them tied behind my back while they held my feet a far away from their body, making it almost impossible to injure them. Almost. Twisting upwards, my head knocked with what had to be their ribs, making the world spin in an explosion of colors. Thankfully my trick worked as I heard their sharp intake of breath. Perfect. Allowing me to jerk out of their hold in an unsteady motion, I fell backwards, managing to catch myself before falling on my butt, I peered up at who had found me. Dimitri. Great, glorious, wonderful, I thought listing off every possible adjective to the opposite of what I was thinking.

"What do you want Belikov?" I demanded, crossing my arms in front of my chest, trying to stay strong. Honestly, however, strong was the opposite of what I was feeling – I wasn't feeling too bad ass either. After managing to take down seven guardians at once I had been feeling pretty invincible, but now as Dimitri stood before me I realized even the best of us have our weaknesses. For me, well, I only happened to have one weakness. Unfortunately, that weakness had me in a hypnotizing hold. Dimitri knew me so well. He knew how I worked – mentally and physically and I hated myself for becoming so vulnerable in his presence. Contrary to popular belief, I also secretly loved the fact that he knew me so well. When I knew that Dimitri loved me, I was in heaven. No matter how much I wanted not to need nor love this man, I did. I did need him and I knew he needed me. And I loved that too, I realized. I loved knowing that maybe there was a possibility I had just as sturdy of a hold on him as he had on me. That was the way things were supposed to be, I knew. We weren't not supposed to be together like I had been trying to make myself believe. No, Dimitri and I were two halves of a whole but that didn't mean I was going to give in just yet. After all the trouble and hurt this man had put me through I liked to believe I had at least some leverage on our relationship. For the past three years he had been the one in charge. In our relationship it had always been him controlling it, and while at times I knew it had needed to be like that, for example when I tried to kiss him during our time as a teacher and student, I knew that at other times I could've been in control too. When Dimitri had told me his love had faded – well I shouldn't have stood there, I realized. No, I should've told him that love didn't fade – it couldn't. You either loved forever or you never did love. And I sure as hell knew that Dimitri loved me. Maybe he didn't love me as much as I had hoped – he had chosen Tasha – but then, he had turned down Tasha before… I was so confused.

For a moment, I gazed up at Dimitri who had begun to talk. "Well, it was pretty obvious when you launched yourself out of my family's quarters that something was wrong," Dimitri stated. "It isn't every day that you see a girl get up and run like your feet were on fire – or in your case, something was wrong with Lissa. And then, taking down the guardians didn't really help your cause," he explained further, smirking a tiny bit at the end.

"Yeah well, these idiots wouldn't let me in," I exclaimed. "And I wasn't just going to stand there."

"Right," Dimitri said, nodding as if this all made perfect sense. "So now that there are no guardians stopping you – except for me, of course – what are you going to do about it?"

Did I mention that I hated it when he had a logical argument? Or anyone did? Well, I do.

"You don't understand!" I said, throwing my hands up in frustration. "In there," I bellowed, gesturing towards the two looming doors. "The stupid, stupid, council are making a decision that will –"

The doors propelled open to show Queen Tatiana coming out calmly – her features almost identical to a guardian's mask, I noticed, wondering what exactly she had to hide. Following her was Priscilla Voda, her face composed the same as the Queen, and Rufus Ivashkov even had the nerve to smirk. Behind them were the rest of the elders from the Royal families. Some looked happy or neutral, while others looked shocked and disappointed, but really there was only one moroi I cared about who was coming out of that room – Lissa. And she did not look good. Her pretty features looked tired, and her emerald green eyes seemed crushed with defeat. Immediately, I dashed towards her, and once the rest of the royals were out of sight, she burst into tears. From despair, guilt, or anger I couldn't tell, all the same I pressed her to my chest, hugging her tightly as sob after sob racked her slender and tall body. My hands had a mind of their own as they stroked her flat, almost lifeless blonde hair down her back in a reassuring manner. I didn't know what to do. I hated seeing my best friend, my sister this way, but what could I do? I knew that if she was Queen – which I knew Queen Tatiana was in favour of – she could change this, but until she produced an heir, or another Dragomir magically appeared, Lissa would only be capable of watching and wouldn't be able to change anything the greedy and selfish council wanted. In that moment, I hated those other twelve moroi more than I had ever felt – perhaps the only exception wasVictor Dashkov who was out roaming the world, unless his brother had deserted him and he was no longer getting healed.

"Shh," I murmured into her pale, blonde locks. "Everything's gonna be okay. I'll make sure of it."

I was only semi-aware of Dimitri's worried eyes watching us, not really comprehending the situation. I also was too busy to notice the outraged shouts of several moroi and guardians from the mess down the hall. All I cared about was Lissa, right now, and I knew that she believed what I said. Being her guardian was a promise that I would always _protect _her, but taking care of her was another concept in a different world. Many guardians didn't give a damn about their charge's feelings as long as they were protecting them, and while some of them formed close friendships I also knew that for the most part it was only an acquaintance, a 'I'll put up with you if you protect me' type relationship. What Lissa and I had went way beyond that, and she knew that too which was why I could gradually feel her emotions calm down.

Nodding into my chest, I sighed as she rested there before anxiety began to bubble inside of her once more. No tears streamed down her face anymore though, and for that I was thankful for.

"Rose, what are we going to do?" she asked. Shaking her head, her eyes grew even wider than I had deemed possible. "I mean they can't just send them off like that. They're going to _die, _Rose. Innocent lives are going to be taken, and – and…" Lissa trailed off, tears once again controlling her body as her body shook endlessly. She did, however, manage to finish her muffled sentence after a few moments. "And, Rose… It's all because of me! If I had a spot on the Council the others would be outnumbered but all because I've been so selfish and I haven't gotten –"

Before she could finish, I took her shoulders gently in my hands. "Hey, don't worry, okay? It's not your fault! God, Liss don't even think for a second that it is! Those _pigs," _I said, referring to the other royals who had voted in the favour of this new law. "Those pigs, they won't win, Liss. They won't. We'll find a way, okay? You and me. I'll always be here for you, no matter what," I finished, hugging her to me once more. Then, murmuring into the crook of her neck, I repeated myself like a lullaby, but whether it was to make her or me feel better I wasn't sure. "They won't win, they won't win," I promised.

Behind me, I felt Dimitri's gaze on my back and I looked up at him with fearful eyes. Truthfully, I had no idea what to do. I would though, I knew. I had to find a way – for Lissa, if not for the rest of the dhampirs. Closing my eyes, I remembered when I was sixteen – only a year after Lissa and I had left the academy. At the time, I had done my best to protect Lissa, and no longer drank or did drugs like I had before we left, but still, I had been irresponsible. I had boyfriends and I'd gone to parties. Then, I recalled what I had been like after we came back. Mason – I grimaced, thinking about him – had taken me down countless times without even trying, and only with the help of an excellent teacher had I been able to become the Guardian I was today. Opening my brown eyes, I gazed up to see Dimitri staring at me. It was then that I realized he still didn't know what was going on, and if Lissa still wasn't enfolded in my arms I probably would have laughed at his cluelessness.

Mouthing to him, 'I'll fill you in later' I was surprised that I did mean it. I would fill him in later because right now I had a lot more on my mind rather than mine and Dimitri's petty problems. No, right now I had to form a plan to save the entire dhampir population and that was going to take as many minds as I could convince to help me.

"Liss?" I asked her, looking down into her tear-stricken red face. "Why don't you go get a bath to calm you down? I'll stay here and attend to some business," I winced, thinking about what the head guardian was going to say to me after he figured out I had taken down those guardians. I hated that guardian – he was so strict – and I knew that he returned the feelings. No doubt I would be getting at least a week's paperwork, one of the jobs us guardian's hated most.

"No," Lissa whimpered to my statement. "Just stay with me," she encouraged. "Stay with me, Rose. I can't do this alone."

Scrutinizing her, I nodded and she sighed in relief. "I will Liss," I decided. Everything – and everyone – else could wait. Right now my best friend needed me, and that was all I cared about. Taking her in my arms, I picked her up gently and brought her to her room where I laid her down and she quickly fell into a deep slumber. Watching her breathe soundlessly, I put a movie on and quietly laid down next to her as I kissed her forehead and murmured once more that I would take care of her just like I always did.

**Poor Lissa! Rose is such a good friend though. And what with this with Rose's promise? Is she actually being.. nice? **


	6. Author's Note! IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ!

HI GUYS! No, I haven't disappeared off the face of the planet, but really I may as well have. First of all I want to say thanks for all of your amazing reviews! I try to reply to them all and they make me smile . Second of all, no, I am not giving up on this story but lately my life has been hectic! The teachers have decided to dish on us a bunch of projects that make up a large part of our grade and we have lots of tests too. I'd like to say that it will calm down soon, but unfortunately I would think that the nearest time I would be able to get an update would be around early January! Bear with me when I come back because I haven't given up and hopefully you guys haven't either! If you really want an update soon please review too, because truthfully I'd rather be relaxing in my spare time because of all the stress rather than writing a new chapter but if you guys really want one I'll try my best to get one up ASAP!

LOVE ALWAYS!

~Catherine


	7. I'm Drowning and I Hate My Life Line

Falling asleep hadn't been on my agenda when I brought Lissa to her room a few hours previously. Then again, a lot of things hadn't been going as planned lately. The wedding. Dimitri. The dinner. The law… Everything seemed to be a mess lately. As I laid there next to my best friend, I found myself wishing that I could stay there forever. In a dreamlike state, nothing could hurt me. The only sound that could be heard was the soft sound of my best friend's muffled snoring. If I wanted to, I would have been able to hear voices from outside the apartment, but in that moment I was content to fall into the present. On her fluffy mattress, nothing could hurt me. I wasn't a Guardian. I wasn't in love. I was just a normal girl, cuddled up on a soft little cloud. After a while of laying on top of the white duvet sheets my mind began to wander. There must have been a reason for why I woke up. There was no way I had merely woken up on my own. When you were a guardian, there was always a reason. Always an excuse for waking up. Always an excuse for getting hurt. Always an excuse for why you couldn't do what you wanted. I could have listed off thousands of reasons for any given thing but now I was only focused on one: Why I woke up.

Rolling off of Lissa's bed I ran my fingers through my dark chocolate locks a few times. My hair was a mess – that much I knew with absolute positively without even looking in the mirror. When I slept, even if only for a couple of hours, I moved around so much that it often turned into one huge knot. Had I not known better I could've assumed there was a bird living in my hair. Before going to investigate the source of my awakening, I took a few seconds to watch my best friend sleep. She was still and her light golden hair surrounded her like a pillow. The only movement was the small heaves of her chest and all remains of stress and sadness were gone from her features to be replaced with a note of innocence and content. She really was too pure for her own good, I thought, as I covered her with the blanket and scribbled a quick note stating that I was gone and would be back to check on her later. I wasn't too concerned about her. I'd already done my job for the day and after what seemed like days of reassuring her that I would fix the council's mess, she'd finally drifted off into a slumber. Besides Christian would be home soon and other than myself, I couldn't think of a better person for the job. After all he had been with her for three years and the way they looked after each other they were practically married.

Tiptoeing out of the room, I searched around the apartment for any clues as to why I might have woken up. Now fully alert, I was surprised when nothing was missing. Nothing had been touched since I'd taken Lissa home a few hours earlier so that she could rest. First, I peered around the kitchen. Next the living room. The closets. The bathrooms. The bedrooms. Their apartment wasn't particularly huge, and everywhere I went nothing was gone. But what could have woken me up? Flopping down onto the sofa, I groaned in agitation. This was going to kill me until I found out what had woken me up. Even if it wasn't a threat, I'd always been a curious one. They always said curiosity killed the cat, but what was I supposed to do? Suddenly, I felt a small vibration come from my hip. It was my walkie talkie. All guardians were required to wear them at all times, but it was rare that we ever used them – especially when we weren't on duty.

Picking it up, I examined it for a couple of moments. Maybe this was what had woken me… No, I was almost positive that I would have remembered had this buzzed in my sleep. It was too loud and distracting. For someone who really loved their sleep, I was a light sleeper. I had to be. It was part of my job, of my lifestyle. With the goal in mind to kill my curiosity, I decided to take a risk. This would've had to be one of the first times I'd ever used without a real message to get across. We often used code names such as 'danger' or 'no threat' but this time… What was I supposed to say? How are you guys doing? That was much too idiotic for my liking and thankfully before I could make a fool of myself a loud knocking sound came from the front of Lissa's apartment. Stumbling over several pieces of furniture, I cursed lowly as I banged into an edge of the coffee table. Why on earth was someone trying to get [i]Lissa's[/i] attention? After all, it wasn't like they would know I was here. Guardians mostly slept in their own quarters if they lived on court (although I was an exception) but only our close friends knew about that. Unless someone had told them what had happened earlier and that I had taken Lissa home there was no way they would be able to know where I had gone. I wasn't that easy to read… Right?

On the other side of the door it was the Head Guardian. Shit. This was something I hadn't been expecting, but if they were at Lissa's he had to have come for me. Mostly dhampirs dealt with dhampirs and security. The moroi handled everything else, but should this be the head guardian? One thing was for sure: They were looking for me. What had I done wrong? Nothing! I hadn't hurt anybody or disobeyed. I was a good guardian merely taking care of her charge and – My thoughts were cut short. I was wrong. I had hurt somebody. Several people - and not only innocent people but my fellow guardians. Of course, it had been for a purpose – I had needed to stop the moroi. It was necessary, not that I had done any good. By the time that all of the guardians had finally been knocked out, the council session was over and the royals were no doubt getting ready for their big announcement. Fuck, I thought to myself. If there was one time I shouldn't have screwed up it was this time.

"Rose Hathaway we've been looking for you all day," he said his voice void of emotion. I winced. Not at his tone – I was used to the Guardian's calm façade. In fact, I was almost positive I was the only one around court who actually portrayed some personality, but he had revoked my title. Even to the Head Guardian I was usually called 'Guardian Hathaway'. It was a form of respect for all of us, but what did it mean if I wasn't Guardian anymore? This status had already been taken from me once and I wasn't about to let some misinformed Guardian take it away again.

"Yes?" I asked, letting my sarcasm and attitude fade into my voice. If he wasn't going to call me Guardian there was no way I was going to be polite with him. "Is there a reason you're here, Guardian? Because my [i]friend[/i] is in there and she needs me,"[/b] I stated, letting him know that Lissa was much more than just a charge to me and that he really wasn't a priority was. They come first. Always.

Unfortunately Guardian Ivanov wasn't having any of it and he kept talking as if he hadn't even heard me. The guy was taller than me, although not quite as tall as Dimitri but somehow he managed to take on a very menacing stance. Through his black and white guardian attire I could see the ripples of muscle packed on from excessive training all of his life and from previous experience I knew he wasn't afraid to use it to his very best ability.

"Did you or did you not attack eight guardians this morning to gain access to an unsupervised council meeting?" he asked firmly. "You do know that because there were no other guardians in that room you are titled as a threat to their safety and therefore a dangerous criminal as of late?"

Crossing my arms, I narrowed me eyes at him. How dare he call me that? I was only trying to save Lissa and all of the rest of the dhampirs in the world. Fury raged through me, rippling from head to toe, and while it was dark outside every cell inside of me was shining with emotion. "You don't understand!" I exclaimed aggravated. "Lissa needed me! I was never going to hurt anyone!" Truthfully, I wasn't so sure about the last part. At most times I could contain myself from ever lashing out at Tatiana but being in a room with her with no one to stop me was quite promising – especially when she was declaring a law such as this one. "She was upset about a law they were putting in! And it wasn't just any other fucking law –"

Stopped by his voice once again I had to hold onto every last bit of control I had to stop myself from lunging out at him. It was as if I was an elastic band. I was being held back, but at any second I would be soaring forward with an intention that no one could stop.

"Miss Hathaway do not use that tone. You will go to trial and –"

"I'm not going to go to fucking trial! I didn't do anything wrong. Okay, yeah, I knocked out a few guardians but there was no real threat! I just needed to see Lissa and they wouldn't let me past!"

"You were still a traitor in this circumstance, Miss Hathaway, and I'll be honest with you. I don't want you to go to trial. You're one of the best guardians we have, despite your attitude." He stopped to send me a stern look before carrying on. I got that look everywhere. Mostly from authority figures, but even Lissa would turn to her sometimes to set her back in line. Before we ran away, Lissa would sometimes give me that look when I was doing something especially risky, not that I ever listened to her. Guardian Ivanov's voice snapped her out of her thoughts once again.

"You still need to come with me Miss Hathaway. The Royals are pressing charges against possible threads/menace as well as disrupting a council –"

This time I was the one to cut him off. He wasn't going to get away with it this time and if I could keep myself from trial that was exactly what I was going to do.

"Would it help if I told you that I didn't even get into the meeting? It finished before I could go in there and the only people I took down were the guardians – which as you've implied aren't making charges?"

"It doesn't matter. A council meeting is serious business and you have come as off a threat so if you would just come with me…"

"Just fucking listen! I didn't get in there. In fact, usually I could care less about what the hell they're talking about but this time they're making a law. It's a death sentence for novices. They're making them go out into the field at sixteen," she told him, this time her voice was completely serious. "And I think they're more concerned about _that _getting out before it's signed rather than what a 'menace' I could be," she mocked, letting sarcasm flow into her words. "And if that isn't a big deal then I don't know what it is."

This time, my protests did have an effect on the guardian and I smirked in gratification. _Yeah that's right you bastard, _I thought with spite. Guardian Ivanov and I never had a good relationship. Ever since I'd become a guardian he'd been wary of me – probably due to my personality or my reputation. I could never be completely sure, but as long as I behaved he put up with me and I put up with him. It was out silent agreement. After all of trouble he'd caused for me today – I'd now assumed he was the one to wake me up in one form or another – I decided that I deserved a little in your face moment. Besides if it blew off steam what really mattered?

"I see," he acknowledged once he finally managed to get his guardian mask back in place. "And how did you attain this knowledge if you did not disrupt the council meeting?"

I could tell he thought he had me trapped. I could've laughed in irony. He still had so much to learn about Rose Hathaway and so little time, but I knew one thing was for sure, having the upper hand was excellent. "Shadowkissed remember?" I tapped my head as if he needed more of a reminder of mine and Lissa's bond. "I knew she was upset about it and I needed to console her," I told him, even if that had only been part of my motive. The other half of me had been wanting to make them change the law, but apparently that would have to wait for another day.

"I'll put in a word with the other guardians," he said sharply, obviously irritated at being beaten by a twenty-year old.

"Oh and Ivanov?" I taunted before he turned away. "Don't tell any moroi about that or people who might tell the queen. That would only enforce them to get the rule changed quicker."

"Of course not. I may not be able to get them to withdraw the trial – you did hurt eight guardians, but I'll tell them they can't press charges unless the guardians wish to and see how it goes."

The older guardian began to walk away and I watched him, satisfied that I'd won. This time I hadn't even had to use fighting either, I congratulated myself. It had all been on logic – and this time I was the good person. Maybe they wouldn't be able to stop the law yet, but I had a pretty good feeling that with some help it could be done. All Lissa needed was an heir, and surely there had to be some distant relative out there of the Dragomirs. A disowned child's nephew or _something. _Giving up was surely not on my agenda, however. I would keep Lissa safe – at all costs. _They come first,_ I thought, momentarily forgetting all of mine and Dimitri's earlier drama. It was as if he was in a completely different universe now that this new problem had presented itself and there was no way Queen Bitch was getting away with this! Children would be out fighting, and even when I was sixteen I'd been incapable of fighting strigoi. _Natalie _had almost killed me – a strigoi only days for and if it wasn't for Dimitri I would have been dead. _Dimitri. _The man's name came back to me, reminding me that only yesterday I'd been sitting down eating supper with his family. Fighting him as he tried to restrain Lissa and promising him I would fill him in later.

"Wait! Guardian Ivanov!" I called after him. He was already almost out of sight, disappearing into the darkness that was the moroi's day, but due to our sharp senses somehow he managed to hear me. The walkie talkie vibrated. It was him.

"Yes, Rose?"

"Who was the last guardian? I only remember there being seven, but you said eight."

"Guardian Belikov. He found you right before you got into the council meeting and when you broke free you cracked a couple of his ribs."

"Oh, uh, thank you," I managed to stutter. Meanwhile my thoughts were concerned with the man I once loved. The man I did love. The man that I was only second place too. And the man I'd made a promise that I would explain what was going on.

"Any time, Guardian Hathaway. I'll inform you later on the details of if there will be a trial or not," he said through the other end of the buzzing device. I grinned. He called me 'Guardian' Hathaway. I was back in business and on my way to explain what was going on to the love of my life. To have a civil conversation with the love of my life. Now tell me that doesn't sound impossible.

**Yes I am back! Hopefully you guys liked this chapter. It took me a couple tries to get it right and I'm still iffy on it. I'm sorry for the long wait! My writing style has changed, unfortunately. I hope you guys still like it! And don't worry about the plot - it's not a copy of the end of spirit bound/last sacrifice, but this part was essential to move along the action part of the plot. Love you all and sorry again for the wait!**

**xoxo Catherine**


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